Based on a story
a shoebox filled with content [part 1]
Homelessness, Mental Illness, and Intelligence
I’ve worked 25 years in Mental Health both with in-patient and as a crisis counselor. In my travels, I’ve met some homeless mentally ill people out in the world. One of them was Ernie.
Ernie had changed his name from Jon to Ernie. He thought that “they” would never find him with a name like Ernie. I first encountered Ernie at the local Starbucks. He’d wander in looking normal. After a while he would yell at his voices.
He didn’t much like other people who camped around or near one of the three bridges. He’d be at Nath Creek because there were no homeless people there in summer or fall. Or he’d be down near Whole Foods or by Safeway with a sign.
I ran into him at Nath Creek because of my fondness for lingham-shaped stones that were around that area. He surprised me one day. And we laughed about it later. Usually, startled by others. To surprise someone unaware of him was a delight; for him.
We talked about the oppressive gov and the oligarchy, the “left” and the “right”. I finally asked him about his colorful shoebox.
“What’s in it?” I put it to him.
“You know what it is,” he told me.
“What?” I asked.
“If you don’t know, maybe just guess,”
“I have to think about it.”
“I’ll give you a hint. I’m a content creator,” he said in a proud, bright, and puffed-up manner.
“Well, then your content must be in the box,” I said.
“Ah, that’s right. But what is the content in the box?”
“Just open it and I tell you what I see,” I told him.
“No you won’t,” and he stopped talking to me. He withdrew into himself and started yelling at the voices. I left.
For the next month, I was too busy to hunt for stones. I did think about the content and came up dry.
I finally got down to the creek. He wasn’t there. I went to Starbucks, completely off caffeine, and in search of an iced herb tea. He wasn’t there either.
I gave up. But when I walked by the independent bookstore I literally bumped into him. I didn’t recognize him right away. He had shaved off his beard and his hair was short. He recognized me right away. I have very white hair.
“Ernie, is that really you?” I asked him.
“Yup,” he said. He told me about his P/T job and the room he rented for a week. He decided the room was too cramped and noisy, “thin walls” he said, and decided to go back to “the great outside”, as he put it. He quit his job too.
We climbed down into Nath Creek which was dry as it was coming on summer. And there was the ongoing drought. We sat down on our haunches.
“Well, do you know what my content is yet?” he asked me. He seemed worried and gleeful. It was an odd mix of emotions to hold a lid on I thought.
“I’d like to explain how other people might see your content before I tell you what it is. Is that okay?”
“Knock yourself out,” and he chuckled.
“Most people that you allow to look inside the box say they don’t see anything. You feel disappointed because you put a lot of energy into your content.”
“And, and…” he was anxious to hear my answer. I was hesitant. “Get on with it man!” he yelled at me.
“Well, if I looked in the box I might not see the content right away. It’s hard to see into the invisible worlds of energies swirling about. If I lacked imagination about my life I would see nothing. I wouldn’t see that your content reflects back what I want to see. I might not be up for the challenge of looking at my projections that the content is showing me.
“To tell you the honest I don’t think I’m ready to face that kind of truth.”
“Hmm, that’s a good guess. But you are right. Your not ready to see the content, yet. Go home and don’t come back until you are ready to see the truth.” He got up and walked away.
Part 2 of 2 is up the creek a ways:
Inspired by storytellers who are content creators and by David Perlmutter, thank you, David for the story idea.
