As a survivor of emotional and sexual abuse by a variety of family members I know the feelings you describe.

There is a supposed Arab proverb: "Open your door to a good day, but prepare yourself for a bad one."

I remain vigilant until:

1. Trump is convicted of impeachment and can never hold office again. And if that does not happen then

2. Later a simple majority bars him from holding office again.

3. Biden signing an executive order passing into law that all candidates are required by law to reveal their tax info before running for office of the Presidency.

4. Impeaching the Senators who refuse to acknowledge that Biden won the presidency and /or starving the money from their campaigns - already in progress to some degree.

5. Driving Trumpicans from office, forcing the GOP to its knees so they will change into something akin to the GOP of the 1960s and 70s.

6. Supporting education in public schools that require students to learn critical thinking and emotional intelligence.

I have doubts that any or all will come about.