Concise and aptly written piece. Dialog and education whether formal or informal seems to be coming to the fore in our culture. I feel relieved.

I think that you, Niklas, have the grace and awareness — a bit younger than I — in discovering and articulating the strengths of emotional maturity. It wasn’t until I was 33 when I began working on my chronic anger and boundaries with my immediate family members (I’m 68 now). Having chosen a career in alternative crisis mental health was a help.

As a result of my private practice I have seen that the emotional regressive states, like your grandfather — for example, in many others. Early emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual abuse perpetrated on young people often by parents / and/or extended families may cause a fixed, regressive emotional state. Unless there is a vigorous quest for truth amongst the wounded and a desire for balance, a willingness to risk shattering one’s ego based on personal truth many people fall back and into the miserable safety of the known habits and beliefs of their parents around ages 39 to 49. (There are always exceptions to this age range.)

I applaud those that continue to press for emotional truth and are able to hold contradictory emotions within themselves and be at peace with the paradox.