Excellent piece on the Nine in the Enneagram of Personality. As a Nine I have been through most of what you wrote about.

As a young child I may have identified with both my parents, but as a pre-teen and teen it was very different. Around the age of 12 I felt as if I had been dropped into the wrong family.

I began looking at myself at 24 y/o, but it wasn't until my 50s that I overcame merging in intimate relationships.

Thank-you