Guess what? Your past ain't in some place called "the past". There is no past. Only in memories which exist and encoded in your body, thoughts, emotions, and spiritually in the relative now. Try capturing "now" and holding onto to it. Cannot be done.

Fixing is what we do to machines. Ultimately we are not machines, though acting from habit can make us seem like a machine.

You got the forgiveness party right on AG. There's a great book - written in the late 80s:

Healing into Life and Death by Stephen and Andrea Levine with a great Forgiveness Meditation and Grief Meditation (to be read aloud to yourself). When I worked in Crisis Mental Health I bought a slew of the books and gave them to clients. I've used almost all the meditations in the book. I highly recommend this book.

And remember all life is sacred and that includes you and me.