Having experienced D.I.D. and have been passing through layers of unfinished memories and triggers since age 30 (am 71 now) I have accepted I will never uncover all the memories of the abuse. And that's okay. Are they unfinished memories? Yes. They are fragmentary memories with other parts of me filling in the blank.

The caveat is a feeling or sense that I am close to a precipice of transforming the fragments of memories, of lost parts and personalities into a land of light. The words pale at what seems to be coming to me, for me with me and for others too. though I have no idea how.

I find that your questions in italics are irrelevant for me. The ringleader of the abuse, my daytime kindly grandfather was a man obsessed with power issues. Me thinks this was not written for people like me.