I'm not done reading yet and you are so "spot on".

I've been working on the healing process since 1991 at age 39 when a flashback happened. When I discovered that I had (have) a dissociative disorder, my life made sense and my heart was broken.

Since 2019 I've been working on a body releasing grief process. Having had an excellent trauma therapist and a continuing spiritual practice for 46 years total has helped tremendously.

More when I finish - taking it in stages.