In my 20s I used to tell people I came from the future due to visions I had of a completely safe world. Either I was seriously deluded; I was imagining society as if women, children and less powerful men felt safe all the time - in other words a world without any crime or was I remembering a future or an alternate reality or a distant past?
All my life people have been telling me what I can't do because it's not normal and I wouldn't be successful at whatever endeavor I had been suggesting. I was hungry for knowledge, truth, purpose and destiny. In my own way I have found all these attributes and I have surrendered into my destiny.
In November of 2019 I began a grief mediation (and it is still ongoing). Some people believed that I was re-experiencing the wounds of the past again and grieving losses in the same way I did when my dad and mom died or a breakup with a partner. But it wasn't that at all. I had separated from the content of the grief and looking at the variety of forms of the grief from a compassionate witness place within. Though it has been triggering at times and then I sit with it and work with it.
Just as I began working with stuck grief of my childhood I began to see in almost everybody’s stuck grief as well. As a white inculcated patriarchal member, (originally from New England) where there was a code of behavior that surrounds grief -it is private with crying and reflection etc. When it is done the grief is over – and compartmentalization is the result. Thus, stuck grief.
Grief without love and attachment is something that cannot exist without the other. It is highly unfortunate that we have had as a figure-head that is not a leader that can set the example for expressions of grief. Nevertheless, we as a nation are not just expressing grief of the deaths from COVID19 but on-top of that the overwhelming losses of livelihood, homes (homelessness), hugs, caresses, fears, angers – all the emotions the grief triggers. It’s not just the grief of these overwhelming losses, it’s all the grief of the losses over the years.
As an empath I feel the barrage of suffering daily. As a healer I do what I can for my clients, friends, relatives and associates. Daily I go to take refuge in my thoughts to dampen the flooding of grief that we have all experienced. (seeking healthy balance)
There is good in the release and yet I feel as many of us do – to help. Isn’t that what community is all about?
