This is a good story. The Drowning Incident & The Bike Incident are both good 1st person accountants.

The main event - Urgency and Health Awareness.

While Ursula K. Le Guin was a famous science-fiction writer, she wrote a book about writing fiction. However with the many personal stories we all write on Medium and other platforms her guidance has been invaluable.

The book: Steering the Craft is one book that has been essential to pairing the story to essentials.

In screenwriting the emphasis is on action, plot structure and dialogue that supports the action. I offer it as an example because it applies to the personal stories we write.

For instance: "my friends noticed and managed to pull me to safety." Is a succinct action oriented sentence. And "That day could have ended very differently..." is an unnecessary sentence because it's obvious in my opinion. I realize some audiences may need the obvious being stated because they expect it. But if you write many personal experience stories - you can let the action of the narrative tell the story without driving it home with extra text. The second part of the sentence has real impact: "The experience left me shaken..." Key word shaken. You said you wanted feedback. Is this too much? I don't wish to offend. If I have offended you, I apologize.

For engaging personal story narratives I suggest Rebecca Romanelli and Jay Squires. Jay is a superlative writer too. Rebecca has world wide experiences and is a good personal story teller.

Ordinarily I don't spend this much time on offering pointers for stories. There is a writer on Medium who is also an professional editor who advises eliminating the word "then" from stories unless absolutely necessary. This is advice I have taken to heart. I don't remember her name or the piece she wrote.