We humans are fragmented (based on upbringing) - so fragmented sense of self that create illusions about the world. There is usually one self of the fragmented selves that believes it is the only one - call them the speaker. So then the other fragments either may periodically ally with the whim of the speaker or work to sabotage the speaker. This all happens by whim.

It takes a daiy relentless and ruthless thirst of hunger to pierce the illusion and begin the reunfication process. This to me is taking responsiblity for one self. Only one tenth of clients and students want this and show some commitment towards it. Most act like children and want hand holding.