Your grief comes from the depth of your love for Nancy and that connection is never-ending albeit in a different form.
I feel privileged to have read your story today as you so wonderfully share your vulnerability through writing and a choice to grow through your pain.
In '19 I found myself to be stuck in the muck of grief from PTSD wounds from childhood. I began taking a homeopathic formula of Ignatia amara 30c - primarily for anxiety and also for grief. So much grief and joy has been revealed. My process continues. {I'll be 71 this year.)
I wish you good healing in your journey.